I was sat at the computer just about to post the entry on my blog about visiting hospital and the fair. My phone rang displaying Number unknown!
Panic! I sat transfixed for a second then forgot what button to press to answer my phone and sent the call to voicemail by mistake.
The voicemail turned up quickly, I knew who it was, then my home phone rang.This is one of the Transplant co-ordinators at Harefields we have an offer of organs would you be willing to come in?
My wife was at work on night shift nursing at the hospital 15miles away. I said to the co-ordinator that I would have to ring her, could she ring back. I rang my wife who knew right away why I had rung at that time of the morning and started to get ready to come home.
By this time my daughter had heard and came downstairs wrapped in a duvet she was calm and went to wake my son who then staggered down still half asleep.
When the co-ordinator rang back she told me that it was a non heart-beating donor, that it was early in the process so it would be all right if I had a cup of tea if I would like. I would be nil by mouth from when we got to Harefield, she asked us to be there for 4.30am.
No matter how often it happens the same effects occur, you can’t think straight your heat beats like a drum and you are scared.
The kids helped by getting my packed bag and medication together from upstairs I became more breathless with the panic.
I tweeted out to my followers on Twitter and Facebook that I had a call! Replies came in from people al over the world wanting more info.
The typing kept me occupied and I tried in 140 characters to explain.
It was different this time the panic was there but did subside a bit to an edgy nervous feeling. The children were calm and dealing well with the process and the whole thing was less fraught.
By the time that my wife got back most of what were needed was sorted it just needed a Oxygen bottle to be replaced in the car with a new one and we were on the road
The night was cold a damp and Foggy and the drive was hard for my wife nearly the whole journey, I continued to tweet on my phone as we travelled and it wasn’t too long before the entrance of Harefields Hospital appeared out of the fog.
We went to the same ward as we had before but got a different room opposite the nurses the process of waiting started the co-ordinator came and went and so did the doctor with a half a litre of my blood in tubes for testing. The questions were answered and forms filled out and we waited, waited, and waited. Then came the consent form, when that was signed the nurse came to shave me then I had a wash and changed into the lovely gown and disposable underwear provided.
Then it started to feel like things may go the full way then we waited, waited, and waited I felt the knot in my insides tighten. Shift change for the staff came and went, and one of the staff coming on was someone I had met before on a previous call I greeted him warmly. Then just as the new shift were checking though the paperwork yet to be completed The co-ordinator appeared and told me that the lungs had been found to be unusable tried to seek the positives but it was hard. We spent some time talking with the co-ordinator and then I got dressed.
We returned home in bright sunshine as a lovely morning had arisen while we waited for someone to die.
I felt sad, for the donor who lost life, sad myself for wishing too hard that this was the one to give me a new life.
When I got home I tweeted out what had happened on twitter and posted on facebook so that my eldest daughter would not worry,and laid on the bed to rest.The reminder of the night before apparent as I looked at my shaved chest.
I had a feeling great respect for the donors family for giving me the chance to Hope.